5 Ways to Take Your Relationship From Good to Great


Relationship aren’t always easy.  We strive to find our soulmate and live happily ever after.  While I agree that there’s someone perfect for everyone out in this great big world, I also think that once you find your “soulmate” that you need to continue to nurture that relationship or it will suffer just as anything else that you don’t appreciate and care for in life.

So often we get caught up in life’s little nuances that we tend to forget about the important people in our life.  We begin to take the love, support and comfort for granted and that can lead to irreparable consequences.  I can’t even begin to tell you how many clients over the years have come to me is complete despair over a broken relationship. The story usually goes something like, “I didn’t even know that he/she felt this way” or “how could they have cheated on me?”.  The sad truth is that what you neglect will defect.

Here are some ways you can keep your relationship thriving and take it from good to great:

  1. Communication is king!  One of the many reasons relationships of all types fail, is due to lack of effective communication.  Your partner is not a mind reader.  If you don’t communicate what you want and need and what the expectations are then how are they supposed to know and vice versa.  Unmet expectations are always at play when a relationship is struggling and on the brink of failure.  

  2. Set goals as a couple.  Don’t assume that you’re on the same page.  Individually you should have your own goals but you should also have a vision as a couple of the future.  This goes for business endeavors as well.  Discover what your values are and see how they match that of your partner’s.  When communication, goals and values align, it’s a recipe for a fulfilling relationship.

  3. Keep your own identity.  If you have a hobby that your partner doesn’t care for, it’s ok.  You take time to do the things that set your soul on fire and allow them to do the same.  Don’t lose yourself to make someone else happy because eventually what happens is that you grow resentful of the other person.  Go fishing, go shopping, and do what brings you peace and joy. 

  4. Date each other.  I’m not sure why is it that couples forget to date each other after the ring is on and the paper is signed.  You both worked to get the other to fall in love with you, and now you’re just going to let yourself go?  No more lingerie?  No more sexy date nights?  No more surprises?  No more candle light dinners?  Late night talks?  Skinny dipping? WHY???  Do the fun things that bonded you at the beginning so you and your partner can avoid seeking that excitement elsewhere.  Ask yourself, what can I do to brighten or make his/her day better?  It’s always about the little things.

  5. Never go to bed mad.  Shit happens and your partner is going to piss you off at some point and you’ll do the same to them.  It’s ok.  We all have our days.  Understand that it’s part of the process of life and that we all have crappy days.  Try to be understanding of the other person’s feelings.  Perhaps they had a bad day or they just really need some space.  Not everything is going to be about you.  At the end of the day, you love them and they love you.  You don’t need to discuss it before you go to sleep but you do need to tell each other, “I love you”, “I’m here for you”, “Tomorrow will be a better day”.  Life is too short to be mad or resentful.  

Starting today, use the steps above to take your relationship from good or maybe even not so good to GREAT! If you need some advice and guidance, I’m here to help. 

Dr. Aixa